Hello Doctor Nick!
My last post was basically along the lines of "brain exploded, bai" and since it's been about a year and a half since that happened I thought I'd give a brief update on how things are going!
Which is well. Ever since the breakdown (it was a breakdown, unfortunately, that December was rougggggggggh) things have been going incredibly, awe-inspiringly well! I got a new job as an assistant librarian this year, my mood is more stable than it's ever been and I just feel really good about life most of the time. And, most importantly of all...
I'M GETTING MARRIED!!!! To be exact, I'm getting married in 9 days and 194 hours at this point. Being engaged has been, by far, the best experience of my life and I've really enjoyed every single moment of it. The dress shopping, the cake shopping, the looking around venues... Everything, even the stuff that should've been stressful, has been the absolute best ever. I think because I know I am doing absolutely the right thing. I am marrying my best friend, the love of my life, my favourite person who has ever existed. I am marrying P, who has stood by me through so much and who still loves me through everything. <3333333
I still have an anxiety disorder, of course, and I always will. But it doesn't matter. It can tell me that I'm going to ruin everything, and numerous other terrible things besides, as many times as it wants. But I haven't yet, and it doesn't look at all likely that I'm going to do so now. I'm happy, I'm BEYOND satisfied and quite frankly the anxiety can go fuck itself. It's tried its worst, and it still doesn't have me. :D
...So, yes! I'm not sure how many people are still on here - livejournal is owned by our unfortunate Russian overlords now, right? - but I thought I'd just post a brief update on how my situation is at the moment. Which is prettyyyyy goooooooood, as my P would say. <3