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We All Live in a Yellow Meme

I'm not entirely sure when I'm going to get around to this, since we're currently on ~HOLIDAY~ and I'm spending most of my time playing board games and sitting in the pub, but yes! Leave me a few and hopefully I'll get around to them when we get back. ^^

Give me a ship and I'll tell you:

Who tops?
Who cooks?
Who's a morning person and who's not?
Who likes to cuddle after sex?
How do they sleep?
Who’s been with the most people?
Which one's the kinkiest?
Who's the big spoon/little spoon?
Who is more ticklish?
Which one texts like a 13 year old and which one texts with immaculate gramar every time?
Who breaks into song all the time?
What are their dates like?
Who always leaves the empty cereal box in the pantry?
Who hates pants and walks around in their underwear as much as they can?
Which one gets random bouts of stress and depression and withdraws into themself and which one brings them blankets and spends all day with them in bed marathoning netflix with them?
How do they resolve a fight?
Which one is better with kids?
Who steals the other's clothes all the time?
Who said I love you first?
Who gets jealous the most?
What’s a song that I think suits the ship?

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Comments

( 21 comments — Leave a comment )
classics_lover
Apr. 16th, 2015 12:13 pm (UTC)
The Odyssey, Ody/Penny/Circe
doreyg
Apr. 16th, 2015 07:04 pm (UTC)
Circe/Penelope/Odysseus
Penny/Circe/Ody

Who tops?

Oh, any of them! They hardly have a system. I have the headcanon that Ody likes being tied up, though, so he probably tops the least ;)

Who cooks?

Penny. Definitely Penny. Ody can't cook beyond the basics, and while Circe can it's generally agreed that she shouldn't (for fear that they'll all end up as animals).

Who's a morning person and who's not?

Penny and Ody generally quite like the morning! Circe does not. Does really, really not ("DAMMIT DAD I'M TRYING TO SLEEP IN OVER HERE!")

Who likes to cuddle after sex?

All of them! Penny and Ody are a bit happier to do so, but Circe will usually submit to numerous hugs after a few grumbles.

How do they sleep?

In a big cuddly, undignified pile. ^^

Who’s been with the most people?

Uh... Hm. Ody or Circe. Most probably Ody, thanks to the whole Calypso thing.

Which one's the kinkiest?

They're all quite kinky, but Circe is the one who first introduced the element of spice into their lives. ;)

Who's the big spoon/little spoon?

Uhhhhh. They don't generally tend to spoon? Generally they do tend to go for the huge cuddle pile, it means that they all get evenly cuddled!

Who is more ticklish?

Circe. She will actively try to kill anybody who tickles her, though, so trying to do so is fraught with difficulty. ;)

Which one texts like a 13 year old and which one texts with immaculate grammar every time?

All of them text properly, but both Ody and Penny occasionally text with awful grammar just to rile Circe up. It generally works. ;)

Who breaks into song all the time?

Not song, per say, but Ody tends to hum as he does stuff around the house. It makes him happy, and is adorable into the bargain!

What are their dates like?

Fun! Generally they go out and make a scene in some posh restaurant. And then come back and cuddle in front of the TV like adorable babies. <33333

Who always leaves the empty cereal box in the pantry?

Ody. Usually because he's in such a rush that he forgets to clean up after himself.

Who hates pants and walks around in their underwear as much as they can?

They all quite like their clothes, generally. But when it's hot Ody and Circe are far more likely to remove things.

Which one gets random bouts of stress and depression and withdraws into themself and which one brings them blankets and spends all day with them in bed marathoning netflix with them?

It's Ody, generally, that tends to get like that sometimes. Both Circe and Penny try to help, but a Penny tends to be a lot more patient and calm so sometimes tends to be the better option.

How do they resolve a fight?

Make-up sex is always great! But generally Penny tends to make them all sit down together and talk through their problems. It rather works!

Which one is better with kids?

Penny and Ody are both great with kids. Circe, in her own way, is also pretty good but has a lot less patience for them.

Who steals the other's clothes all the time?

Circe and Penny both have the habit of stealing Ody's clothes when they're stressed because the smell of him helps them both to calm down. They're also quite in the habit of swapping clothes between each other, because they're similar sizes and it really is easier.

Who said I love you first?

Ody, then Penny, then Circe.

Who gets jealous the most?

Circe, generally, in that she actually gets jealous. Penny and Ody, especially Penny, don't really tend to mind that much - as far as they're concerned they have each other, and that's all that matters.

What’s a song that I think suits the ship?

River Deep, Mountain High - Tina Turner
classics_lover
Apr. 16th, 2015 07:38 pm (UTC)
Re: Circe/Penelope/Odysseus
:D

I kind of figured Odysseus would be the one to leave empty food packets behind him :P

And tickling Circe is dangerous! Hee! As is asking her to cook, lol!

Loved this!
doreyg
Apr. 17th, 2015 08:34 am (UTC)
Re: Circe/Penelope/Odysseus
Ody is lovely, but not the best at containing messiness. :P And thank you! Glad you enjoyed it! :D
healyg
Apr. 16th, 2015 04:23 pm (UTC)
Harley Quinn/Bruce Wayne?
doreyg
Apr. 16th, 2015 07:48 pm (UTC)
Harley/Bruce!
Harley/Bruce

Who tops?

Depends on the day. But Harley revels in finally being allowed on top - because the Joker never really agreed to that - and so that tends to happen a lot.

Who cooks?

ALFRED.

Who's a morning person and who's not?

Neither of them are that great at mornings, but Harley is better in that she's less likely to communicate only in growls before her morning coffee.

Who likes to cuddle after sex?

Harley is a cuddle FIEND.

How do they sleep?

Inelegantly. Harley tends to starfish across the bed and leave Bruce clinging desperately to the edge. She also tends to drool into the pillow, and snore!

Who’s been with the most people?

Um. Even, probably?

Which one's the kinkiest?

Both are pretty kinky, when pushed. But Harley's more open about it.

Who's the big spoon/little spoon?

Harley is the little spoon, but generally she prefers to cuddle smooshed against Brucie's chest.

Who is more ticklish?

Harley tends to SHRIEK when you even touch her with a finger, but Bruce is even more ticklish than her!

Which one texts like a 13 year old and which one texts with immaculate gramar every time?

Harley texts with AWFUL grammar/spelling, to the point where Bruce often finds it hard to tell what she's trying to say!

Who breaks into song all the time?

HARLEY. She's always singing around the manor, and anywhere else she goes. ^^

What are their dates like?

Chaotic. Things tend to explode, or crime tends to get committed and lead to awkward staring around the table.

Who always leaves the empty cereal box in the pantry?

HARLEY.

Who hates pants and walks around in their underwear as much as they can?

Also Harley. Which often leads Bruce to walk into walls, when he's not expecting it. ;)

Which one gets random bouts of stress and depression and withdraws into themself and which one brings them blankets and spends all day with them in bed marathoning netflix with them?

Bruce. Harley, perhaps surprisingly, is actually rather good at handling this. She tends to be very calming, very cuddly and willing to give everything a lot of time. And Bruce, although he finds it hard to admit it, is very grateful for her support.

How do they resolve a fight?

They... Are very bad at it. Harley tends to escalate matters, and Bruce tends to get dragged along with her. They generally end up screaming at each other, and then not talking for DAYS.

...Until they get over it, with a good bout of make-up sex. ^^

Which one is better with kids?

NEITHER OF THEM. Harley tends to panic around them, Bruce is a bit less flaily but still rather baffled. They generally end up avoiding them together.

Who steals the other's clothes all the time?

HARLEY. She loves wearing Bruce's clothes, even if they tend to swamp her.

Who said I love you first?

Harley. Bruce's reaction was to stare for a while and then blurt out that he needed to go on patrol. Not because he didn't feel the same way, but because he's not very good with his emotions the poor sausage. <3333

Who gets jealous the most?

Harley gets more obviously jealous, but Bruce has a possessive streak that runs for MILES.

(Harley likes poking at it, when she's bored. It's led to them having sex in some rather interesting places!)

What’s a song that I think suits the ship?

Boom Clap - Charli XCX
healyg
Apr. 16th, 2015 11:19 pm (UTC)
Re: Harley/Bruce!
Haha, thanks!

NEITHER OF THEM. Harley tends to panic around them, Bruce is a bit less flaily but still rather baffled. They generally end up avoiding them together.

Wait, what about the Robins? Or do they not count?
doreyg
Apr. 17th, 2015 08:40 am (UTC)
Re: Harley/Bruce!
Ah, man, this is what I get for typing this on my phone while watching Star Trek. << this does make sense in my head, I just have to unpick it a little. UM. Bruce and Harley both like the IDEA of children, but in practice generally find them quite awkward and a little flaily. The Robins initially were subject to this rule in Bruce's eyes, before he decided to treat them as little adults most of the time and awkwardly barrel his way throygh/hide behind Alfred the rest. When Harley came into the picture she did much the same thing - except instead of deciding to treat them largely as little adults, she decided to try to be the BEST STEPMOTHER EVER come hell or high water. She generally finds this a bit less awkward, but the Robins don't really agree.

This is mainly based on the animated series, though! The comics, as ever, are probably a little different and I need to read more. <<
healyg
Apr. 17th, 2015 10:43 pm (UTC)
Re: Harley/Bruce!
Ah, okay! I get it now. Thank you!
yuidirnt
Apr. 16th, 2015 08:17 pm (UTC)
Len/Barry!
doreyg
Apr. 17th, 2015 08:26 am (UTC)
Len/Barry 1/2
Who tops?

It's hardly set in stone, but Len tends to top the most and they both tend to enjoy that the most.

Who cooks?

Barry does the most cooking, but Len is far better at it.

Who's a morning person and who's not?

Both are very much morning people, and are quite good at getting up early and enjoying it. Len does prefer his coffee sooner rather than later, though. ^^

Who likes to cuddle after sex?

Barry is a cuddle MONSTER, and will happily squirrel close no matter how sweaty they are. Len tolerates this with far more affection than he's willing to admit.

How do they sleep?

Len would prefer to sleep largely separate, keeping to their own sides of the bed, but Barry remains a cuddle monster and so they usually end up entwined at some point. Len's getting used to it, by now.

Who’s been with the most people?

Len, most definitely. Barry, in my head, has been with 1-2 other people at most and both were kinda awkward.

Which one's the kinkiest?

Um. Both of them are quite kinky? But generally tend to bring it out in each other in unexpected ways.

(By which I mean Barry never really thought of himself as kinky, and then found himself suggesting outside sex to Len after about their third time.)

Who's the big spoon/little spoon?

Barry is the little spoon, because Len gets hella protective and wants to keep him in one place.

Who is more ticklish?

BARRY. Len isn't really ticklish at all, but Barry can be reduced to screeching hysterics at the twitch of a finger.

Which one texts like a 13 year old and which one texts with immaculate grammar every time?

Both of them are pretty good and proper about texting, but Barry tends to be a bit more haphazard and rushed.

Who breaks into song all the time?

Barry sings in the shower, the kitchen, the car and a lot of places in between. Len would never confess to it, but he loves hearing him sing - he has a fantastic voice, after all, and Len is in the habit of appreciating fantastic things as much as possible.

What are their dates like?

Short, quiet. They don't tend to go out in public together much - Barry is still desperately trying to keep his new relationship a secret from Joe - so mostly they have date nights at home where Nobody can see.

...It works for them. ;)

Who always leaves the empty cereal box in the pantry?

Barry. Len is quite keen on putting things away neatly, but Barry tends to leave a mess wherever he goes and very little seems able to stop that. It's been a point of friction a few times!

Who hates pants and walks around in their underwear as much as they can?

Neither of them have that many exhibitionist tendencies, but Barry is a lot less likely to be buttoned up come hot weather. Len, however, is always slightly reserved in clothing choices no matter what. It's his thing
doreyg
Apr. 17th, 2015 08:27 am (UTC)
Len/Barry 2/2
Which one gets random bouts of stress and depression and withdraws into themself and which one brings them blankets and spends all day with them in bed marathoning netflix with them?

Both of them, in my headcanon, sometimes suffer from periods like that - but both of them tend to approach it by working through and ignoring it unless absolutely necessary.

They do, however, sometimes allow themselves bed days devoted to Netflix. This is largely a new thing, since they properly got together. Barry lies to himself and says that he's looking after Len, Len very firmly insists that he's giving his speedster a break. It works for the both of them.

How do they resolve a fight?

Len tends to go very cold and very distant when he's mad. Barry, however, can never stay mad for long and so generally tends to snap and apologize to that coldness. Len, somewhat puzzled by this behaviour, tends to forgive him very quickly If just to stop the steam of apologies.

It's another thing that just works for them. ^^

Which one is better with kids?

Both of them are weirdly good with kids, actually. Len is quite strict and can be a bit intimidating, but generally tends to be very nice to any children in his vicinity. Barry is a lot more fun and lighthearted, but also will try his hardest to take care of any kids that fall into his path.

The chances of them becoming parents are, of course, zero. But if they did somehow acquire a baby it'd probably go surprisingly well for them. Len could be the strict one, Barry the fun one. It'd be great! :DD

Who steals the other's clothes all the time?

Barry. He's a bit taller than Len, but quite a bit less muscular so most of the borrowed clothes tend to drown him. This suits him, he enjoys ambling around Len's flat in just a shirt.

Who said I love you first?

Barry. To be honest, I'm not sure if Len would EVER confess his love. Barry knows, though, so that's okay. It's just generally understood between them.

Who gets jealous the most?

LEN. Len has a possessive streak a mile wide, and makes sure that Barry knows about it. This is made a bit awkward by the whole secret relationship thing, but Len still manages to get his general ownership across pretty damn well.

Saying that, though, Barry also has a large jealous streak. He's just a bit better about repressing it. Several parties have, however, felt the sting of it. They're just not really aware that it was Barry, due to the whole super speed thing.

What’s a song that I think suits the ship?

Frozen - Madonna, BECAUSE I AM CLICHE AND ALRIGHT WITH THIS.
daria234
Apr. 16th, 2015 11:05 pm (UTC)
Clark/Lex
doreyg
Apr. 17th, 2015 10:37 am (UTC)
Clark/Lex 1/2
Who tops?

Lex likes to THINK that he does, but in reality it's a lot more even. Clark knows this, but has very diplomatically decided not to point it out. It's just easier that way.

Who cooks?

Lex would prefer to rely on chefs for everything, but Clark insists on cooking at least half the time. He's not great at cooking, granted, but he feels that it's important to keep his skills up to scratch!

Who's a morning person and who's not?

Clark, having grown up on a farm, quite likes mornings and is usually at his brightest then. Lex, in contrast, is basically non-responsive until his third cup of coffee.

Who likes to cuddle after sex?

Neither of them are huge on cuddling after sex, but Clark will usually insist on at least a little contact. Lex grumbles over this, but secretly rather enjoys it.

How do they sleep?

Erratically. Between Superman and Lex's business pursuits they rarely manage more than an hour or two a night actually next to each other. When they do manage it, though, they generally tend to sleep on opposite sides of the bed - but with Clark holding onto Lex's arm or leg, just in case.

Who’s been with the most people?

Lex, by FAR.

Which one's the kinkiest?

Also Lex, But Clark is perfectly willing to indulge in kinky behaviour. He's just generally a bit less likely to suggest it first.

Who's the big spoon/little spoon?

Being two fairly muscular dudes they don't generally tend to cuddle that way. On the rare occasions where Lex falls asleep first, though, Clark will subtly big spoon him for as long as possible. It just feels nice.

Who is more ticklish?

Neither of them are all that ticklish, actually! But Clark is more willing to be tickled, while Lex refuses to indulge in anything of the sort.

Which one texts like a 13 year old and which one texts with immaculate gramar every time?

Clark was generally a lot more relaxed about texting, but Lex has been stubbornly trying to drag him up to standard ever since they got together. It's ridiculous for a journalist to use emoticons, he argues, and he should stop it this instant. Clark usually reacts to this point with fond amusement. ^^
doreyg
Apr. 17th, 2015 10:39 am (UTC)
Clark/Lex 2/2
Who breaks into song all the time?

Neither of them, generally, but Clark is a little more likely to hum while doing the dishes. He also sings in the shower, if there have been any particularly good songs out lately.

What are their dates like?

They generally alternate who picks. Lex tends to go for high class restaurants, followed by the opera or some other incredibly posh pursuit. Clark insists upon more traditional pursuits, like home cooked meals or a trip to the movies. Either way, it usually ends in sex. ;)

Who always leaves the empty cereal box in the pantry?

Hm. I'm honestly not sure. Lex sometimes leaves things lying around when in a rush, but is generally meticulously clean. Clark, meanwhile, alternates between messy teenage boy and proud housewife. So... It depends on the day, generally?

Who hates pants and walks around in their underwear as much as they can?

Neither of them, generally. But Lex is a lot less bashful about using his body to get what he wants. Clark TRIES, and sometimes succeeds, but generally ends up feeling extremely awkward in the process.

Which one gets random bouts of stress and depression and withdraws into themself and which one brings them blankets and spends all day with them in bed marathoning netflix with them?

Lex, although he won't ever admit it. Clark, however, eventually gets very good at interpreting the signs and dealing with them. His usual tactic is to insist that HE needs a day off, and Lex will grumble but will generally agree to it in the end. ^^

How do they resolve a fight?

The only reason why any fights get solved is Clark. If it was up to Lex they'd never speak again, and would instead insist on existing in eternal sulkiness. Clark is very good at sitting him down and actually getting him to TALK about it.

Which one is better with kids?

Clark loves the idea of kids and has always wanted them, but can be a bit awkward with them in practice. Lex is just completely indifferent to them. You can bet, though, that if they somehow acquired a baby Lex would be the most protective father EVER. His kid would have the whole world at their feet, and nothing in the universe would stop that. ^^

Who steals the other's clothes all the time?

Not deliberately, but Clark frequently picks up Lex's shirts while running to work and only realizes a bit later. This has led to several less than pleasant conversations with Lois.

Who said I love you first?

Clark, of course. It takes a long few years before Lex musters up the courage to say it to his face, and by that point all Clark can do is smile and say "I know, love you too."

Who gets jealous the most?

Lex can get hella jealous. This has caused several arguments because Clark isn't generally the jealous type, and can't quite understand where Lex is coming from.

What’s a song that I think suits the ship?

My Life Would Suck Without You - Kelly Clarkson
likewinning
Apr. 17th, 2015 04:40 am (UTC)
Bruce/Wally :3
doreyg
Apr. 17th, 2015 06:08 pm (UTC)
Bruce/Wally 1/2!
Who tops?

It's not set in stone, per say, but Bruce is a lot bulkier than Wally and so generally tends to take the initiative. He's also acquired the habit of just picking Wally up and fucking him against various things. ;)

Who cooks?

ALFRED. Bruce can fuck up toast, Wally goes a step further and can fuck up water. After the first time Wally came to visit Alfred banned them both from the kitchen forevermore.

Who's a morning person and who's not?

Wally is very much a morning person, and generally leaps up every morning at full brightness. Bruce, on the other hand, needs at least one cup of coffee before he can do anything more than grunt vaguely .

Who likes to cuddle after sex?

Wally loves cuddles, no matter how sweaty they may be. Bruce makes a show of protesting - but, in the end, is actually totally cool with it. He's hardly going to protest an armful of naked Wally, after all!

How do they sleep?

Bruce tends to be out all night and Wally tends to get up super early, so they don't get much time actually sleeping together. But in the two or so hours before dawn, when Bruce slips back in, Wally goes full cuddle monster and Bruce takes as much advantage of it as he can. It once led to one of Bruce's ribs getting dislocated, after a particularly long night and a particularly tight hug, but it was fine.

Who’s been with the most people?

Hmmmmm, Bruce. Wally has been with a few people, surprisingly to pretty much everybody involved, but definitely not as many as Bruce.

Which one's the kinkiest?

HMMMMMM. Oddly enough, I don't see either of them as that kinky. They both like a few things, and Wally is beyond cool with using his vibrating for sexy purposes, but mainly they just like being with each other.

Out of the two, though... Possibly Wally? In that he's more likely to be encouraging, if kinky things do come up.

Who's the big spoon/little spoon?

Bruce is the big spoon, Wally is the little spoon. Bruce keeps worrying that he's getting all crushy, but Wally is totally and utterly cool with it. ^^

Who is more ticklish?

Wally. Bruce is a little ticklish, which Wally takes advantage of on occasion, but Wally is ticklish EVERYWHERE and quite loud about it into the bargain.

Which one texts like a 13 year old and which one texts with immaculate grammar every time?

Wally is AWFUL at sending legible texts. Bruce is a bit slow and awkward, make no mistake, but Wally's often consist only of emoticons and random letters in no particular order. Wally claims that he has super speed, so doesn't need to learn how to spell. Bruce is dubious of this fact.
doreyg
Apr. 17th, 2015 06:10 pm (UTC)
Bruce/Wally 2/2!
Who breaks into song all the time?

WALLY. Wally loves singing, and will often belt out awful pop songs while moving at high speed. Bruce is still undecided as to whether he's just pretending to be annoyed by this, or actually at the point of punching a hole in the wall.

What are their dates like?

Fun, but chaotic. Bruce usually tries to go for something reasonably high class, like dinner at a fancy restaurant and then a night at the orchestra or something, but Wally usually scuppers those plans at some point. Usually by moving at super speed and ripping his tux, sometimes deliberately.

(Wally finds those classy dates to be boring, anyhow. He far prefers it when they go out to fight crime together, and then have sex still largely in costume. Bruce will never admit it out loud, but he secretly prefers those sort of dates too. ;))

Who always leaves the empty cereal box in the pantry?

WALLY. ALWAYS AND FOREVER WALLY.

Who hates pants and walks around in their underwear as much as they can?

Wally has far more exhibitionist tendencies than Bruce, and still has the teenage habit of lounging around in his underwear during his spare time. Very few people know this besides Bruce, though, because he tends to speed away to get dressed whenever he thinks people might be embarrassed. Alfred appreciates this more than can be put into words.

Which one gets random bouts of stress and depression and withdraws into themself and which one brings them blankets and spends all day with them in bed marathoning netflix with them?

Bruce. Wally still isn't quite sure how to help, but tries as much as possible. He isn't perfect, and sometimes does more harm than good, but Bruce does generally appreciate the effort.

How do they resolve a fight?

Er. ERM. Unfortunately, they do have completely different fighting styles. Bruce tends to go very withdrawn and quiet when he's angry, while Wally tends to get louder and say ALL THE WORDS. They tend to work it out eventually, but they still haven't got the process down perfectly yet.

Which one is better with kids?

Bruce likes the IDEA of kids, but is frequently rather awkward with them in practice because ew childrens. Wally, however, gets on fantastically with all children - he loves them, and most of them tend to love him.

(Uncharitable minds may say that this is because Wally still is a kid, but they don't say it very often. Bruce tends to glare at them until they reconsider their life choices.)

Who steals the other's clothes all the time?

Wally! Wally is in the habit of picking up random bits of Bruce's clothing, and wearing them around the manor. Usually it's shirts, but he's also been known to pilfer underwear and even the cape once or twice.

Who said I love you first?

Wally, of course! Bruce was distracted at the time, analysing a hair sample from a joint bad guy of theirs, and so absently murmured it back... And didn't realize what he'd said until Wally ran into the wall out of shock.

After that time, though? Getting loving declarations out of a Bruce remains as hard as getting blood from a stone. Unless Wally's asleep, of course. Then he's perfectly happy to whisper it. ^^

Who gets jealous the most?

Bruce, of COURSE. Wally is totally cool with this, though. He finds Bruce's possessive side really hot and will happily provoke it at every opportunity. ^^

What’s a song that I think suits the ship?

Friday - Rebecca Black Upside Down - A*Teens

Edited at 2015-04-17 06:11 pm (UTC)
likewinning
Apr. 19th, 2015 04:12 pm (UTC)
Re: Bruce/Wally 2/2!
He's also acquired the habit of just picking Wally up and fucking him against various things. ;)
askfjgfls; I WOULD LIKE TO SUBSCRIBE TO THAT PLEASE.

Wally claims that he has super speed, so doesn't need to learn how to spell
LOL OF COURSE HE DOES.

Bruce, of COURSE. Wally is totally cool with this, though. He finds Bruce's possessive side really hot and will happily provoke it at every opportunity. ^^
ahahaha I need so much fic about this. :3

Friday - Rebecca Black
*snort*
doreyg
Apr. 20th, 2015 11:11 am (UTC)
Re: Bruce/Wally 2/2!
I feel that the "picking up and fucking" and Bruce's jealous streak often coincide. ^^
daria234
Apr. 18th, 2015 01:10 am (UTC)
:D thank you, these are such fun answers!!

lol i would like to hear those unpleasant conversations with lois

yeah i think the question of who's slept with more people is always going to be answered lex :)

jealous lex is yum, lex trying to stop the world from using text speak is hilarious

i love how clark gets him to take a day off too.

and this sums up their whole relationship ;)

Lex likes to THINK that he does, but in reality it's a lot more even. Clark knows this, but has very diplomatically decided not to point it out. It's just easier that way.
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