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Five Acts!

YAY IT'S TIME FOR ONE OF MY HIGH POINTS OF THE YEAR! (Also, Wtf is with the new LJ post layout. I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS!)

FXSpc



My Five Acts

1. Oral fixation or fetishization (lips, tongue, or whole mouth; french-kissing; licking; oral displays using food or beer bottles; smoking cigarettes, cigars, or pipes; biting or chewing one's lip(s))
2. Cross-dressing (voluntary)
3. Breath (as a caress; hitching or ragged; indrawn breath or gasps; sighs)
4. Kissing, necking
5. Talking (dirty talk or verbal seduction; sweet talking; reciting poetry; talking someone to orgasm; talking during sex; pillow talk; phone sex; speech becoming broken as one is aroused or upset; being inarticulate or articulate; Voice fetishization)

My Fandoms/pairings

-Blackadder Goes Forth - Blackadder/Captain Darling
-Cabin Pressure - Martin/Douglas
-Day of the Dead (1985) - Sarah Bowman/John/Bill McDermott
-Doctor Faustus - Marlowe - Faustus/Mephistopheles
-Endgame - Beckett: Hamm/Clov
-Friends - Chandler/Rachel, Rachel/Joey, Rachel/Joey/Chandler
-Game of Thrones (TV) - Daenerys/Jorah, Sansa/Sandor, Sansa/Littlefinger, Ned/Cersei, Jon/Samwell, Robb/Theon
-Greek Myth - Pandora/Prometheus, Demeter/Hades, Neoptolemus/Helenus, Artemis/Kallisto
-Henry V - Shakespeare: Henry/Montjoy
-Historical RPF: Ludwig II/Richard Wagner, Themistokles/Xerxes, Livia/Augustus, Livia/Cleopatra, Anne Boleyn/Thomas Cromwell
-Horrible Histories: Oliver Cromwell/Charles I, Blenkinsop/Maltravers, Bob/Mike, William SHakespeare/Richard III, Dick Turpin/James Smith, Charles II/Sotherby, Leonardo Da Vinci/Mona Lisa, Robert Guiscard/Mike Peabody, Stanislaw/Frantisek, Vercingetorix/Julius Caesar, Elizabeth I/William Cecil, Nelson/Hardy/Beatty, Henry VIII/Thomas Cromwell
-Looper (2012) - Joe/Old!Joe
-Macbeth - Shakespeare - Lady Macbeth/Macbeth
-Othello - Shakespeare - Desdemona/Iago
-Parade's End (TV) - Sylvia/Christopher
-Person of Interest (TV) - Finch/Reese, Carter/Fusco
-Red Dwarf - Lister/Rimmer
-Richard II - Shakespeare - Richard II/Henry IV
-Richard III - Shakespeare - Richard III/Elizabeth Woodville
-Skyfall - Q/James Bond
-Some Like it Hot - Joe/Jerry, Joe/Jerry/Sugar/Osgood
-Spy (TV) - Tim/Chris, Tim/Caitlin/Chris
-The Avengers - Loki/Tony, Tony/Steve, Natasha/Clint, Clint/Coulson, Thor/Loki, Thor/Loki/Tony
-The Demonata - Darren Shan- Juni Swan/Kernel Fleck, Juni Swan/Kernel Fleck/Dervish Grady/Meera Flame, Dervish Grady/Meera Flame, Timas/Shark, Lord Loss/Bec/Grubbs Grady/Kernel Fleck, Kernel Fleck/Grubbs Grady
-The Fifth Element - Korben Dallas/Ruby Rhod
-The Odyssey - Homer - Penelope/Odysseus, Odysseus/Circe, Odysseus/Athena/Penelope, Penelope/Odysseus/Circe
-The Thick of It - Malcolm/Ollie
-V for Vendetta - Evey/V, Finch/Dominic Stone
-Vampire Babylon - Chris Marie Green - Dawn/Claudius, Claudius/Costin, Costin/Benedikte, Della/Lilly

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Comments

( 21 comments — Leave a comment )
linndechir
Nov. 30th, 2012 04:40 am (UTC)
Breathe my air and I'll be fine (Skyfall, Bond/Q, oral fixation + breath + kissing), 1/2
I just have to say that your Five Acts are absolutely fantastic. I hope you like this (and I hope that I didn't overlook any horrible typos, it's kind of late. ;))

Breathe my air and I'll be fine (Skyfall, Bond/Q, oral fixation + breath + kissing)


“The view is spectacular,” Q comments as he joins Bond on the roof. It's cold, Q is wrapped in a too large jacket that makes him look even frailer, his hands buried in his pockets. He comes to stand next to Bond, doesn't seem concerned with whether he's welcome or not.

“It is,” Bond agrees, but he's not looking out over the city. Q's lips are a startling red in his pale face, they always look like someone just kissed him breathless. They must be dry in the cold air, and Q licks them quickly, worrying at them for a moment with his teeth. Small puffs of air linger in front of his mouth when he breathes out. Bond wants to grab him, to kiss and bite those red lips until they're even redder, to turn Q's breath into gasps and moans and catch those in his mouth.

Instead he reaches for the cigarette case in his coat.

“Do you smoke?”

“I try not to,” Q says, but he looks tempted – bites his bottom lip again. Takes a cigarette when Bond offers him the case, breathes in deeply when Bond lights it for him.

His slender fingers look pale against the dark fabric of his coat, he shivers again in the cold, but the blissful smile on his face is one Bond knows too well himself, that of someone who tries to smoke as little as possible and enjoys every cigarette all the more for it. Right now, though, Bond almost forgets about the cigarette that hangs lit in the corner of his own mouth, eyes still fixated on Q. The way his lips rest almost tenderly against the paper, red on white, the way his mouth stays a little open when he keeps the smoke in his lungs before breathing it out slowly, lips puckering. The way his lips move when he speaks again.

“I'm glad to see you managed not to lose the lighter I built for you.”

Bond had almost forgotten about the lighter, takes a slow drag from his own cigarette to cover the pause.

“I didn't take it with me on a mission yet.”

That earns him an exasperated look, but Q seems too content right now to berate Bond for his bad habits. Finishes his cigarette slowly, seemingly unaware of Bond's gaze clinging to his lips. There is almost a look of disappointment in his eyes when he drops the stub; Bond follows his example a few moments later.

linndechir
Nov. 30th, 2012 04:41 am (UTC)
Breathe my air and I'll be fine (Skyfall, Bond/Q, oral fixation + breath + kissing), 2/2
“Well, I had better get back inside,” Q says with a smile. “Some of us have actual work to do.”

Bond doesn't really think about it, just steps closer before Q can turn away and crowds him against the rail of the roof. Sometimes he almost forgets that Q is barely smaller than him, and he can feel Q's warm breath washing over his face, hitching in surprise when Bond raises his hand to touch Q's cheek.

Q's skin is soft and cold, but his lips are warm when Bond runs his thumb over them, just a light, gentle touch at first.

“Not here,” Q starts, but his voice quivers a little, and not only from the cold.

“Just for a moment.” Bond is so close that he can almost feel the sharp intake of breath, the moment of hesitation before Q turns his head ever so slightly to meet Bond's hand. Parts his lips just enough for Bond to slip his thumb between them, then sucks it in, teeth grazing Bond's knuckle while his tongue presses against the calloused fingertip. The sight is mesmerising, but it lasts only a moment before Q's lips quirk into a smile and he pulls back his head to release Bond's thumb. His eyes are full of mirth and a bit of mischief – Q is no innocent, he knows exactly what he's doing. There's no resistance when Bond's fingers tighten on Q's chin, and he finally kisses those red lips – gleaming wetly now even before Bond's mouth crushes against Q's, hungry and impatient. Q's mouth tastes of smoke and Earl Grey, it feels as irresistible as it looks.

Q breaks the kiss too soon and Bond can't bite back the frustrated growl that escapes his throat. Q's nose is as cold as ice against Bond's, but those warm lips are barely an inch away, so tempting, so inviting. But then there's a hand on Bond's chest, a light pressure that makes him pause.

“Not here,” Q says again, and this time it doesn't sound like token resistance. Bond sighs, still breathes a brief kiss onto Q's lips before he lets go of him and steps back.

“Tonight.” It's not a question, and the only answer he gets is that smug, confident smile. Q's fingers adjust his glasses before they return to the warmth of his pockets. He starts to walk away, but stops after a few steps to look back over his shoulder, turning just enough that Bond can see his profile when Q bites his lips again and says, “Thank you for the cigarette, 007.”
outboxed
Dec. 1st, 2012 09:04 pm (UTC)
Re: Breathe my air and I'll be fine (Skyfall, Bond/Q, oral fixation + breath + kissing), 2/2
Ooh, this is lovely and tentative and awesome. And I am now regretting not putting smoking on my kinks list because YES.
linndechir
Dec. 1st, 2012 09:07 pm (UTC)
Re: Breathe my air and I'll be fine (Skyfall, Bond/Q, oral fixation + breath + kissing), 2/2
Thanks, glad you like it. :) Yep, same here. I guess it's not too late to change that, though.
outboxed
Dec. 1st, 2012 09:13 pm (UTC)
Re: Breathe my air and I'll be fine (Skyfall, Bond/Q, oral fixation + breath + kissing), 2/2
We can always just sneekily write each other fic with smoking kink or something - or, yeah, edit our posts. (;
doreyg
Dec. 2nd, 2012 01:09 am (UTC)
Re: Breathe my air and I'll be fine (Skyfall, Bond/Q, oral fixation + breath + kissing), 2/2
So, I woke up on Friday thinking that I probably wouldn’t have anything and then I saw this and then I flailed SO HARD THAT I ALMOST FELL OUT OF BED OHGOSH.

And then, due to lectures and things, I couldn’t reread it and respond until now. So boo. -_-

But this? THIS WAS AMAZING. Seriously. So, SO good. You’ve captured pretty much everything that I think those kinks and this pairing SHOULD be. The smoking was hot, the kissing was even more so, AND THAT BIT WITH THE THUMB KJDNWWW. Rereading it now I realize that I forgot just how hot it actually was - and, you know, it’s even more hot because you kept them perfectly in character. More being hot, super-competent badasses than grand love declarations and other such stuff (not that I haven’t read stuff like that in my grand quest for ALL the Q/Bond fic, but I find myself far preferring the super competence with occasional hot making out while being awesome. <<)

Favourite lines (I MAY END UP QUOTING EVERY WORD BUT OH WELL):

Q's lips are a startling red in his pale face, they always look like someone just kissed him breathless. They must be dry in the cold air, and Q licks them quickly, worrying at them for a moment with his teeth.

Q/BEN WHISHAW WHY ARE YOU SO HOT?

to turn Q's breath into gasps and moans and catch those in his mouth.

Can I just say how much I really, really love the idea of catching gasps and moans into mouths? Because I ACTUALLY FLAIL every time that pops up in a fic. So, yeah. <333

Takes a cigarette when Bond offers him the case, breathes in deeply when Bond lights it for him.

Eeeee I also love the image of people lighting cigarettes for each other. SO MANY GOOD IMAGES. <33333

The way his lips rest almost tenderly against the paper, red on white, the way his mouth stays a little open when he keeps the smoke in his lungs before breathing it out slowly, lips puckering. The way his lips move when he speaks again.

AND SUCH BEAUTIFUL LANGUAGE TOO! <3333 It really is wonderfully descriptive. You can picture everything PERFECTLY (including BEN WHISHAW’S INCREDIBLY LOVELY FACE.)

he can feel Q's warm breath washing over his face, hitching in surprise when Bond raises his hand to touch Q's cheek.

YAY BREATH! I just… Love people drawing in breaths when they’re so close that the other person can feel it on their face and stuff (That probably makes no sense and/or sounds creepy but OH WELL.)

Parts his lips just enough for Bond to slip his thumb between them, then sucks it in, teeth grazing Bond's knuckle while his tongue presses against the calloused fingertip. The sight is mesmerising, but it lasts only a moment before Q's lips quirk into a smile and he pulls back his head to release Bond's thumb.

KSNFGKEJGEGEGEG.

IOEWGJHUHGEOIUFGUEWHFEW.

EKJBENFGEJBGFEUFGBEUFBEUFBEUFBEWF!

SO HOT! *FLAILS AND FALLS OFF CHAIR*

Q is no innocent, he knows exactly what he's doing. There's no resistance when Bond's fingers tighten on Q's chin, and he finally kisses those red lips – gleaming wetly now even before Bond's mouth crushes against Q's, hungry and impatient. Q's mouth tastes of smoke and Earl Grey, it feels as irresistible as it looks.

SO. HOT. YES. PERFECT.

(Also: YES Q BEING NO INNOCENT AND DRIVING IT JUST AS SURELY. YESYESYES.)


“Not here,” Q says again, and this time it doesn't sound like token resistance. Bond sighs, still breathes a brief kiss onto Q's lips before he lets go of him and steps back.


<33333 I love relationships where they totally have an equal power balance despite having different physical/mental capacities or whatever. And I also love respect and stuff. And the idea of breathing kisses. And… We’ve returned to the everything, yeah.

the only answer he gets is that smug, confident smile

Oh, Q. <33333333333333

So, yes. This was actually PERFECT and I loved it so much I WAS GLARING AT STRANGERS ON PUBLIC TRANSPORT BECAUSE I COULDN’T READ IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN! It is probably my favourite thing ever and you captured the kinks and the pairing perfectly and… Thank you, thank you so much. <3333

(Also: KWFNWFEWFKJF THE SMOKING! I have an odd thing for fictional smokers, despite not actually being able to go near them in real life, and this showed them AMAZINGLY. <3333)
linndechir
Dec. 2nd, 2012 01:21 am (UTC)
Re: Breathe my air and I'll be fine (Skyfall, Bond/Q, oral fixation + breath + kissing), 2/2
Eeeeeh, thank you so much for that wonderful comment, it makes me want to write all the fics for you. ;) When I saw that "oral fixation" kink, I just knew I had to write Bond/Q for that because Ben Whishaw has a ridiculously beautiful mouth.

Yep, what I like about them is that they're very evenly matched, in their own way, and I really don't like it when fics depict Q as an innocent, shy little boy. I mean, sure, Bond makes him swoon sometimes because that's what Bond does to people, but I'm pretty sure Q can play at that game just as well. ^^ I totally ship them as becoming more than just an affair at some point, but I think they just enjoy teasing each other so, so much.

So, yes, your prompts were amazing and wonderful and I had so much fun writing this. I think I haven't written smoking porn since, like, Inglourious Basterds three years ago (which was pretty much the smoking porn fandom of all smoking porn fandoms ;)). So I was really happy for an excuse to write this because much like you, I find fictional smokers really hot (even though I don't really like the smell IRL). So happy you liked this. :D
analise010
Nov. 30th, 2012 05:25 am (UTC)
What is this and how does this work, so that I can do it? *___________*
kaizoku
Dec. 1st, 2012 03:56 am (UTC)
Signups and more info are over this way. :-)

(edited because I awkwardly misread your comment)

Edited at 2012-12-01 03:57 am (UTC)
analise010
Dec. 1st, 2012 04:10 am (UTC)
...it's not letting me click anything. :(
kaizoku
Dec. 1st, 2012 04:13 am (UTC)
janie_tangerine
Dec. 1st, 2012 12:21 am (UTC)
some like it hot, joe/jerry/sugar/osgood (sorta), crossdressing (sorta), pg, 1/2
so I saw that foursome and I saw the prompts and - this happened. But I realize that it's weird and it probably doesn't fit the prompt 100% so I wrote something else for another fandom less crack and more fitting and that intrigued me anyway, but I hope this pleases nonetheless.

Jerry’s life is a joke, all right? Yes, he means it literally. No, he’s not exaggerating. No, he really is not. It’s the kind of things he would like to complain about to some friend, but then again he can’t because – right, his life is a joke.

Beginning with the part where the only people that he could talk about this to without getting arrested for – he doesn’t even want to know how many things, he doesn’t – are the three people that are making his life a joke. Because Jerry hadn’t signed up for this passing as a woman thing, okay? Or better, he did, but it was a life or death situation, and he hadn’t planned on – keeping on doing it.

Good lord, there’s a place in Hell just for him. He knows. No one raised him thinking that marrying a man while passing as a woman was anywhere near acceptable, nevermind that said man knew perfectly that you weren’t a woman. For – his mother thinks that Jerry is a woman. At least his mother visits seldom.

No one also raised him to – to –

All right, listen, that’s complicated. So, there was that entire part where Jerry actually liked Sugar but it had stopped there, also because Joe had to go with that stupid plan about being the Shell heir and – right, fine, not going through it again. Anyway, Jerry isn’t a believer in lost causes – Sugar was crazy for Joe, and so be it, they should have been together, except that it’s not as if they ever left.

And they did play bridesmaids. Jerry can’t believe that wedding ever happened. The most humiliating part was that when Joe and Sugar got married he had to be Sugar’s bridesmaid and Osgood had been Joe’s best man because right, he can’t exactly show up with his old identity when there’s still the mafia after them, right? Right.

But then they never left and at some point Osgood had said something about Sugar being lovely and neither of them had been upset, and then – Jerry doesn’t even remember how it happened that the four of them ended up in the same bed. He remembers that Joe did clearly state what are you fretting for, didn’t we share a bed when we lived together, anyway?

(Fine, there had been a number of sort-of-rushed handjobs coming in between but it’s not like anyone else was around and they were sharing a bed, it didn’t mean that he was in love with Joe. Or anything of the sort.)

(Fine, he hadn’t even thought that he would end up liking Osgood after all – heck, whatever, he’s stopped trying to understand himself ages ago. That stint as a woman must have turned him insane. Point is, a wedding night actually happened and – right. It happened again. Nobody’s perfect, but it did turn out good and not the utter disaster Jerry had pictured. Let’s not get into the part where he kept his wig. Let’s not get into this part where he actually isn’t unhappy with his life choices as much as he pretends to be.)

So: they never left, at some point they didn’t even use their own bed anymore and Osgood is apparently thrilled with it as long as they don’t kick him in the night (nice thing, when you have such a large bed that it’s not a problem – advantages of being married to a billionaire), and Jerry – Jerry doesn’t even know why he’s going through with it.

Or going through with keeping the wig. Or actually wearing the freaking dresses around the house at times because they’re comfortable and after all he doesn’t mind and fuck, Joe thinks they look good on him – since when he cares about Joe’s opinion? Since – since sometime, apparently. He doesn’t know, okay? Everything is confusing. Extremely confusing.
janie_tangerine
Dec. 1st, 2012 12:22 am (UTC)
Re: some like it hot, joe/jerry/sugar/osgood (sorta), crossdressing (sorta), pg, 2/2
Regardless, the facts are that: somehow he’s married to a man, they’re sort of both in a relationship of some kind with Jerry’s best friend and his gorgeous girlfriend, and Jerry somehow does not dislike wearing women’s clothes as much as he thought he did. (But he isn’t trying to make his voice sound feminine ever again unless he has to talk to people who don’t know – there’s a limit to everything.)

He should be freaked out. He should also be disgusted. And a lot of other things.

Then again, he knows he’s not walking away from it anytime soon. Normal or not, he has to admit it at least to himself – his life has never been this good, joke or not.

Oh, well. As his apparently very satisfied husband puts it, nobody’s perfect. Right?
doreyg
Dec. 1st, 2012 11:55 pm (UTC)
Re: some like it hot, joe/jerry/sugar/osgood (sorta), crossdressing (sorta), pg, 2/2
Segesrgrsgsg EEEEEEE <333333333333

So, first off: This film is probably my FAVOURITE FILM OF ALL TIME. Seriously – I have watched it, like… Well, I don’t remember how many times. XD But, yes! And this is probably my favourite foursome of all time as a result! I mean: Joe/Jerry was probably my first proper pairing. But on recent rewatches Joe/Jerry/Osgood/Sugar have STOLEN MY HEART WITH THEIR PERFECTNESS and yeah. So: pretty much ANY fic in this fandom (WHY ARE THERE SO FEW?!) and ANY fic involving this perfect foursome is going to win my love.

But THIS WAS NOT JUST ANY FIC! This was a BRILLIANT fic. And I love it so much awefeafeafaf. <333 I can imagine it happening exactly like this! The two of them separately turning into the four of them together and Jerry hating and loving his life at the same time and… GUYSSSSSS. <3333 You’ve got how I imagined them down absolutely perfectly, so thank you for that so much!

Favourite lines:

Jerry’s life is a joke, all right? Yes, he means it literally. No, he’s not exaggerating. No, he really is not. It’s the kind of things he would like to complain about to some friend, but then again he can’t because – right, his life is a joke.

PERFECT JERRY VOICE. <333

Beginning with the part where the only people that he could talk about this to without getting arrested for – he doesn’t even want to know how many things, he doesn’t

I also have a real fondness for fics that acknowledge the actual risk of getting arrested and then have the characters realistically go “Ah screw it, I’M HAPPY!” I’m not sure what relevance that has, but it is absolutely brilliant to see. <33

Good lord, there’s a place in Hell just for him. He knows. No one raised him thinking that marrying a man while passing as a woman was anywhere near acceptable, nevermind that said man knew perfectly that you weren’t a woman. For – his mother thinks that Jerry is a woman. At least his mother visits seldom.

OSGOOD’S MOTHER IS MY FAVOURITE CHARACTER WHO DOESN’T ACTUALLY APPEAR IN A MOVIE /EVER/.

And they did play bridesmaids. Jerry can’t believe that wedding ever happened. The most humiliating part was that when Joe and Sugar got married he had to be Sugar’s bridesmaid and Osgood had been Joe’s best man because right, he can’t exactly show up with his old identity when there’s still the mafia after them, right? Right.

BEST. WEDDINGS. EVER. <33333333

(Fine, there had been a number of sort-of-rushed handjobs coming in between but it’s not like anyone else was around and they were sharing a bed, it didn’t mean that he was in love with Joe. Or anything of the sort.)

JESGESJGRSGRSG JOE/JERRY OTP I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOR PUTTING THIS IN THIS IS PERFECT HEADCANON AND MAKES THE FOURSOME SO MUCH BETTER EEEEEE. <33333333

Point is, a wedding night actually happened and – right. It happened again. Nobody’s perfect, but it did turn out good and not the utter disaster Jerry had pictured. Let’s not get into the part where he kept his wig. Let’s not get into this part where he actually isn’t unhappy with his life choices as much as he pretends to be.

<33333333333333333333333333333333333 Jerryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.


So: they never left, at some point they didn’t even use their own bed anymore and Osgood is apparently thrilled with it as long as they don’t kick him in the night (nice thing, when you have such a large bed that it’s not a problem – advantages of being married to a billionaire)


…sdgrsgrsgsg That is such a good image and I love it. <3333333333333

Joe thinks they look good on him – since when he cares about Joe’s opinion? Since – since sometime, apparently. He doesn’t know, okay? Everything is confusing. Extremely confusing.

<33333333333 JERRY/JOE!

his life has never been this good, joke or not.

<333333333333333 I think my heart just started flailing too.


Oh, well. As his apparently very satisfied husband puts it, nobody’s perfect. Right?


BEST. ENDING.

So, yessss, thank you so much again! :DDDDD You have wrote me two literally perfect fics and I am SO HAPPY OMG. Just with the crossdressing and the awesome relationship dynamics and the EVERYTHING and… sgnrsgrsg THANK YOU! <3333333333
janie_tangerine
Dec. 2nd, 2012 12:09 am (UTC)
Re: some like it hot, joe/jerry/sugar/osgood (sorta), crossdressing (sorta), pg, 2/2
*rubs hands* okay hi I'm here being flattered all over again but seriously, YOUR TASTE IS EXCELLENT and I love that movie. If it wasn't for another couple it'd be my favorite movie too and YOU'RE SO RIGHT ON THE LACK OF FIC. WHY. Seriously, it has canon crossdressing, WHAT ELSE DO YOU NEED SERIOUSLY.

Anyway I'm really glad you liked it seriously, especially because since imo that movie is like the pinnacle of witty dialogue it's hard to live up to it but apparently I just really have a crack trying. Especially with Jerry. Gosh, Jerry is my favorite, damn it. Him and his love/hate of his life at any given moment. XDD

Also IKR ABOUT THE FOURSOME? In my head after the end they all go living together and they're all happy and the whole setting would be hilarious and I had to try. xD and I had to throw in the reference to the whole 'this thing is illegal' part but then again hey nothing could be worse that what went on in the movie anyway.

OSGOOD’S MOTHER IS MY FAVOURITE CHARACTER WHO DOESN’T ACTUALLY APPEAR IN A MOVIE /EVER/.

MINE TOO ACTUALLY. ;) (Also Jerry/Joe is a ship of AWESOMENESS.)

Also nobody's perfect = always the best way to end things if you ask me. ;) and you're welcome, I *so* had a crack writing this. I like that movie too much for my own good. XD
janie_tangerine
Dec. 1st, 2012 12:26 am (UTC)
asoiaf, robb/theon, crossdressing, maybe some talking, pg13, 1/2
right, serious fill. Just pretend that things went differently from 2x03 and the subsequent clusterfuck never happened. Also I have no idea of what is this, but at least it's following the prompt. XD

They don’t do it often.

Mainly because he doesn’t have the guts to ask, most times. Not that Robb thinks less of him for it, he knows. They didn’t do it often even before Theon went back home, sent a letter and then came back to Robb with a handful of nothing and no alliance (and no rights of his own), and they do it even less now. Every time he even thinks about it, he remembers his sister clearly stating that he was the one wearing a skirt out of the two of them, and – it felt shameful before, it feels even more shameful now.

At least his family won’t ever know. Sometimes he thinks that he’d pay to see his father’s reaction to his little, shameful secret, but – what’s the point. He doesn’t care. Spending half of your life deluding yourself into thinking that he did doesn’t change the fact.

But sometimes the shame doesn’t stop him either. He knows he shouldn’t indulge in this kind of thing. He knows men should not. Especially if they’re ironborn.

Then again, he’s really not much of an ironborn anymore, if he ever were.

So he asked, and Robb just nodded and told him that he’d come in the evening, and Theon’s hands shake as he opens a chest that he keeps under the bed. He doesn’t know what it says about Robb that he doesn’t think anything wrong of it – he’s a king, gods, he shouldn’t even make time for him, not now. He looks through the contents, settles on a light grey gown that he had found gathering dust in one of the cellars a while ago. It probably belonged to a tall woman without much of a bosom and – it’s the best fit he has. He breathes in and takes off his doublet, then his shirt, then his breeches. He keeps his smallclothes on after debating for a moment, and then he takes another breath and puts the dress on. His fingers shake as he laces it up, the cloth so very soft against his back. It’s a bit loose on the chest – the previous owner did have a bosom, after all – but not overtly so. He laces it tighter around his waist – it was made for someone with slightly wider hips. The thing, he thinks bitterly as he looks in the mirror, is that it still fits him better than it would fit his sister.

It’s a nice dress. The velvet outside is still soft to the touch, and the silk on the inside feels almost soothing against his skin. It has small white flowers embroidered on the sleeves, and as he ties the last knot on the laces, he feels slightly less – less burdened.

Gods know, if he really had been a woman he’d have never had to go through that ordeal on Pyke. No one would have expected anything from him. And –

The door opens, slow, and Theon turns towards it, letting out a breath of relief when he sees that it’s Robb. Robb locks the door before coming closer, and he has something in his hands but it’s dark and there’s just candlelight in the room, and Theon can’t see what it is. He places it on a chair before moving closer, so for now there’s no way to see what it could be. Robb’s hair looks dark red in the warm light coming from the candle next to the mirror, and Theon gasps softly when Robb’s hand brushes over his chest, where the gown hangs slightly looser. It moves upwards, to his hair (it’s longer than it was before he left for Pyke – he hasn’t really cut it much since then), twining a strand around his finger.

Theon wishes that his knees didn’t go a bit weak at that – he knows that he’s flushing, and he knows that he’s tense, and he hasn’t done this in a long time but his shoulders are shaking with need, and he wishes that it was something to make more exciting a screw or two.

He also wishes that Robb wasn’t this damn good at this.

He wouldn’t have put an arm around his waist, if he wasn’t. The same way anyone would put their arm around a woman.

“This always looked good on you,” Robb rasps, and Theon’s knees go weak at that, not just a bit. It’s that he’s keeping his voice low, his tone gentle, a damn fucking perfect lord, the kind that Theon never was – regardless of what he wore.
janie_tangerine
Dec. 1st, 2012 12:27 am (UTC)
Re: asoiaf, robb/theon, crossdressing, maybe some talking, pg13, 2/2
“Thank you. My lord.” His own voice is barely a whisper, but he won’t go as far as to conceal it, and he isn’t sure he could.

“You seem cold,” he says, concerned, and right – he’s shaking. He’s better than Theon is at this game, and Theon should ask him one day – not now, though. “Wait a moment.”

He nods – proper ladies wouldn’t refuse, would they?

Robb goes back to the chair where he had left whatever he had brought with him, takes it, comes back. It’s some kind of clothing – it’s folded, so Theon can’t see more than a square of fabric in Robb’s hands.

And then he unfolds it and ohgods it’s a cloak. Nothing fancy, probably something that might have belonged to a maid, but it’s dark grey and it’s definitely cut with a woman in mind – the hood isn’t as large, the cloth not as heavy, and no man would walk with a cloak that has small flowers and leaves embroidered all along the sides.

“May I?”

Theon thinks that he’s about to have a very unmanly reaction to all of this. Maybe it wouldn’t matter.

“Of course.”

He breathes in as Robb walks forward and puts the cloak on his shoulder, tying it with a neat, small ribbon. He smooths a crease in the cloth and Theon glances at the mirror – for a mad moment he wonders if with the hair braided the right way, a very good shave and maybe some jewellery he might pass for a woman for real, and then he pushes that thought away and smiles shakily at Robb, putting his hands on Robb’s hips, without pressure.

“It’s lovely.” He’s almost choking. Hopefully Robb mistakes it for hoarseness. “My thanks.”

“I thought it would look good on you. I’ve had it for a while, you know.”

Theon doesn’t miss the implications – he’s pretty sure that Robb has just told him that they could or should do this more often, and he doesn’t want to know what it says about the two of them, but he can’t care right now, he doesn’t even know if he wants to think about it, and he can barely remember that this thing they’re doing is supposed to be all wrong.

He figures that he’s just being true to customs when he reaches forward and presses a kiss to Robb’s cheek – that’s what happens in Sansa’s stupid songs, isn’t it?

When Robb turns his head so that it’s his lips that Theon’s kissing, Theon kisses him back, but doesn’t fight for it, lets him set the pace, and sighs into it when Robb’s hands cover his cheeks delicately, and that’s the kind of kiss ladies dream about getting – soft and slow and careful and reverent.

A part of him will never not feel ashamed about this. But right now, another (bigger) part is too far gone to pretend that shame is enough to make him stop.
doreyg
Dec. 1st, 2012 10:51 pm (UTC)
Re: asoiaf, robb/theon, crossdressing, maybe some talking, pg13, 2/2
KSDJGBRSGRSHGSRFHRSTHRFSHGSRHSTRH

Jnsgrksjgrsgrsgrsgrshrshrshrsthjrtsjuhts

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee

…Ahem. <<

But seriously, SERIOUSLY, this was SO GOOD and made me all flaily and heart achey and so touched, SRSLY. <333333 I mean, Theon (THEON BABY I PROBABLY SHOULDN’T LOVE YOU SO MUCH BUT HEARTS EVERYWHERE)! And Robb (ROBB BABY)! And the crossdressing and the both of them finding so much pleasure in it, but Theon not allowing himself to acknowledge it, and… Yes, keysmash is about right. As is: It made my heart ache and it was perfect and THANK YOU SO MUCH! <33333333333

Favourite lines:

Every time he even thinks about it, he remembers his sister clearly stating that he was the one wearing a skirt out of the two of them, and – it felt shameful before, it feels even more shameful now.

THEON BABY. ;;

It’s a nice dress. The velvet outside is still soft to the touch, and the silk on the inside feels almost soothing against his skin. It has small white flowers embroidered on the sleeves, and as he ties the last knot on the laces, he feels slightly less – less burdened.

Gods know, if he really had been a woman he’d have never had to go through that ordeal on Pyke.


This captures so perfectly what I love about this fic. The whole wanting it but not being allowed to want it thing and… Ahhhhh. ;;

Theon wishes that his knees didn’t go a bit weak at that – he knows that he’s flushing, and he knows that he’s tense, and he hasn’t done this in a long time but his shoulders are shaking with need, and he wishes that it was something to make more exciting a screw or two.

BABIESSSSSSS. <333333 I keep forgetting how much I ship them (my extreme fondness for Sansa/Sandor and Dany/AWESOME keeps surging up and covering all else), but then it all comes flooding back to be and it is GLORIOUS.

“This always looked good on you,” Robb rasps, and Theon’s knees go weak at that, not just a bit. It’s that he’s keeping his voice low, his tone gentle, a damn fucking perfect lord, the kind that Theon never was – regardless of what he wore.

BABIES <333333333333333333


And then he unfolds it and ohgods it’s a cloak. Nothing fancy, probably something that might have belonged to a maid, but it’s dark grey and it’s definitely cut with a woman in mind – the hood isn’t as large, the cloth not as heavy, and no man would walk with a cloak that has small flowers and leaves embroidered all along the sides.


…This is basically descending into me screaming BABIES and flailing but oh well, I don’t even care. <3333333333333333333333 (But THEON BABY)

Theon thinks that he’s about to have a very unmanly reaction to all of this. Maybe it wouldn’t matter.

Oh Theon. <333333333333333

Theon glances at the mirror – for a mad moment he wonders if with the hair braided the right way, a very good shave and maybe some jewellery he might pass for a woman for real, and then he pushes that thought away and smiles shakily at Robb, putting his hands on Robb’s hips, without pressure.

“It’s lovely.” He’s almost choking. Hopefully Robb mistakes it for hoarseness. “My thanks.”


…skjgoeisagesragearsg I am not sure whether to flail or sniffle so may settle for doing both at the same time. ;; <333333333333333


Theon doesn’t miss the implications – he’s pretty sure that Robb has just told him that they could or should do this more often, and he doesn’t want to know what it says about the two of them, but he can’t care right now, he doesn’t even know if he wants to think about it, and he can barely remember that this thing they’re doing is supposed to be all wrong.


BABIES. TOTAL BABIES. OH BABIES. <333333333333333333333333333333

A part of him will never not feel ashamed about this. But right now, another (bigger) part is too far gone to pretend that shame is enough to make him stop.

…Flailing and crying everywhere, yessssss. <33

But, seriously, this really was so good and THANK YOU! <333 I am now going to go reread this about three billion times. And flail. And bounce. Because, seriously seriously, I loved this and it was pretty much exactly what I wanted. <3333 (And I am also going to reread your Some Like it Hot fic and leave an equally rambly and flaily comment! <3333)
janie_tangerine
Dec. 1st, 2012 11:34 pm (UTC)
Re: asoiaf, robb/theon, crossdressing, maybe some talking, pg13, 2/2
NO SERIOUSLY THANK YOU I FEEL SO FLATTERED RIGHT NOW YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH <333 I'm so glad that you liked it! I just - I really love this two and crossdressing is like my favorite thing and I saw it and I was like 'okay I'm giving it a go.'

(THEON BABY I PROBABLY SHOULDN’T LOVE YOU SO MUCH BUT HEARTS EVERYWHERE)

EMBRACE IT. ;) I think that he tends to cause that reaction for a rule, and I totally had a phase of 'I really shouldn't like you as much as I do' but WELL HE'S A VERY LOVABLE TRAINWRECK OKAY. And he gives me endless amounts of feelings, so I'll be with you. Also those two are like, the ship that always creeps up on you - I started shipping it sort of late and I didn't even know I shipped them until I had some kind of 'OH DEAR I SHIP THIS' moment and then they've been there making me want to cry and wishing they weren't as angsty as they are and - yeah. I'm going down with it I guess. I'm also convinced that Theon would have had it better if he had been born a woman for real, but that meta is not for a comment box. XD

Also I like flailing and sniffing at the same time. ;) *rubs hands* and really I'm so glad that it fit the bill, thank you so much!! ♥♥♥♥
doreyg
Dec. 1st, 2012 11:59 pm (UTC)
Re: asoiaf, robb/theon, crossdressing, maybe some talking, pg13, 2/2
I AM GLAD YOU FEEL FLATTERED! Because, seriously, YAY EXCELLENCE! <33333 I have discovered these two and a large amount of my fondness for crossdressing this year, and... Yes, combining them together works SO PERFECTLY. I can totally imagine it happening too. XDD

I KNOW! XDDDD He's just... A dick, but SUCH a good character and every time I see him I just want to cuddle him and go STOP IT WITH YOUR BAD DECISIONS YOU ADORABLE IDIOT. Because he makes so many of them, but you still can't hate him for them because he's too busy making your heart bleed. XDDD (Often with Robb, because they appear to have a pact.)

But, yes, thank you! AND I REALLY DID LOVE IT SO MUCH. <33333
janie_tangerine
Dec. 2nd, 2012 12:14 am (UTC)
Re: asoiaf, robb/theon, crossdressing, maybe some talking, pg13, 2/2
A dick, but SUCH a good character

Amen. I always want to give him a slap for his life decisions and then feed him cupcakes and send him crying on Robb's shoulder or something - he's a total trainwreck but he's such a good character and ugh seriously why do I always like the people who don't have a chance at happiness. And people who make my heart bleed. (Between him and Robb I bled a whole damn freaking lot......) And ugh I know re that kink being oddly relevant with those two. *cough* Also well it said no book spoilers so I didn't mention it to avoid confusion, but in the book Theon's dad actually told him something awful about him dressing too nicely/too womanly when they met first on Pyke and I've been brewing thoughts about that and anyway, it's a damn fitting kink. I vote for thinking it could have totally happened as well. ;)
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